


A Sleepy Encounter

by fernblossom



Category: White Collar
Genre: Drinking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Related, Episode Tag, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Future Fic, Sleepy Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-08
Updated: 2013-04-08
Packaged: 2017-12-07 21:54:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/753507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fernblossom/pseuds/fernblossom
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>4x16 tag - spoilers! Neal blames himself aka what happened after the finale of season 4.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Sleepy Encounter

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers for all aired episodes. All mistakes are mine and mine only. I don't own White Collar. Neal and Diana are my headcanon.

There was a loud knock at the door.Neal opened his left eye and tried to lift his head off the table. Why was he there? For a second he didn’t remember. Then the world tilted precariously and everything came back to him in a rush. There was an empty bottle in his field of vision right next to where his head had been a second ago. It felt like his brain was bouncing up and down in his skull, causing unimaginable pain whenever he moved his head. Small sparks danced behind his eyelids and it tasted like something had died in his mouth. Neal was rather proud he was able to make all these observations in mere seconds, considering how he felt. He glanced at his watch, a gift from Peter, but the face of the watch was a blur. Neal closed his eyes and tried to refocus. After some serious staring he was fairly certain it was ten o’clock.

There was another knock at the door. The door. Right. That was what had woken him in the first place. Neal got up, grabbed the edge of the table and sat down again. How much had he drunk anyway? He tried to stand up once more and stumbled upon another empty bottle that went rolling towards the front door making a deafening rattle that echoed in his loose brain, making it reverberate against every inch of his skull.

Another knock. Did this person not know when to stop?

“Neal, I know you’re in there!” came a female voice.

Neal knew better than to open his mouth and shout back. He moved slowly towards the door. The whole room was in some weird angle and the door didn’t come any closer. He didn’t think he had ever been that drunk. His shoulder hit the door with a thud and he was fumbling for the key and the door handle when Diana’s voice asked, “Neal, are you ok?” Of course it would be Diana. Who else.  
I’m fine, Diana, I’m fine, just peachy. I’m just trying to open the damn door. I think it’s stuck. Neal wasn’t sure whether he had only thought these things in his head or actually said them aloud. He didn’t have to wait long to get an answer to that.

“Neal! I’m going to pick your lock and come in if you don’t open the door in the next ten seconds! Ten, nine, eight.”  
In his head then.

“Seven, six, five.”

Neal concentrated hard. Then he fumbled with the key some more and heard the familiar click of the lock. Diana surely didn’t wait him to open the door properly for her. The lady obviously didn’t care for chivalry. Neal snorted in his head. The door burst open and a very worried-looking Diana was standing in his doorway, carrying two puppies.

“Neal, are you all right? What was all that racket?”

Diana and puppies? Something was wrong with this picture. Maybe those weren’t puppies. Neal laughed to himself. These weren’t puppies indeed, it was just Diana’s purse. Neal felt more laughter coming from somewhere deep inside. He let it out and watched how Diana was rolling her eyes, shaking her head disbelievingly.

“Neal, are you drunk? How much did you drink? How long have you been locked up in here? Why haven’t you come to try to help Peter?”

Neal was just blinking down at her. He opened his mouth to answer but closed it again as he couldn’t remember her first question to save his life.

“Neal? Do you hear me? You haven’t said a word. Just sit down, I’ll bring you some water.”

Neal sat at the table, put his head back on his arms and closed his eyes. He wanted everything to just go away, he wanted Diana to leave, he wanted the charges against Peter to be dropped, he wanted his father just to stop existing, he wanted Sara to come back, but most of all, he wanted the world to stop spinning and his brain to glue itself firmly back to his skull and not hop around like a three-year-old on a sugar rush.

“Neal.” A hand on his shoulder. “Neal. Water. Drink up.”

“Diana, go away, go home, away, I’m fine, you’re, you don’t have to be here.”

“Oh, he talks! I was starting to get really worried,” and then, “Neal, you have to drink this, you’ll feel like shit in the morning,” Diana said gently.

“I feel like shit now and there’s nothing you can do about it.” When did he actually regain his ability to form full grammatically correct sentences? Neal felt he never ceased to surprise even himself. He did take the glass from Diana though, sloshing some of the water all over the tabletop and drowned it in one go. Apparently that was a wrong move because his brain did a somersault and he felt nauseous.

“Off to bed with you now. Neal, get up! I said, get up. You’re not sleeping here.”

Diana sure was persistent. Neal gave his best to walk to his bed, but it ended with Diana almost dragging him there. He vaguely remembered somebody’s hands taking away his shoes, unbuckling his belt, getting him out of his jeans. He didn’t think he was helping much but it seemed like Diana was a natural and managed without his cooperation. Was she tucking him in? Neal smiled, buried his head into a pillow and dosed off in an instant.

“Neal!” Somebody was shaking his shoulder. “Neal, no dosing off just yet. Here’s a bucket and some more water. I won’t leave until I’m sure you’re not going to die of alcohol poisoning. Is that okay if I stay? Neal?”

“Mph,” he said. What Neal meant was “dear Diana, please chop off my head and throw it out of the window,” but apparently he had lost his ability to form sentences again. He closed his eyes and the darkness got him.

 

*****************************************************************************

Sunlight was peering in through the windows. It was ruthlessly bright. Neal tried to open his eyes but lost the battle to the light. After some serious battle with the sunlight, he got himself to actually sit up in bed and look around. His head was still killing him and he vaguely remembered throwing up at some point at night. Had somebody been here? There was a note on his bedside cabinet. There had been somebody here then. It took a couple of minutes for Neal to actually make sense of the words on the note.“I’ll come back to check on you tonight after work. If you’re drunk again, I’ll confiscate all your alcohol. ALL of it! Beware! D.”  
Diana, she had been here, she had helped him to bed and taken care of him. Neal groaned to himself. Had he said something to Diana? Had he thrown her out? Had he tried something? He tentatively put his left foot on the floor and waited until the room stopped spinning. Then he pulled himself together, walked straight to the bathroom and took a long hot shower. Breakfast was out of the question, so he just collapsed on the bed and fell back asleep.

*****************************************************************************

The sun was setting, painting the sky red and orange all over. It looked like the apocalypse was coming, but Neal didn’t notice. He was nursing a glass of wine, mulling over his sorry excuse of a life where he had fucked up so profoundly that on the scale of one to ten he’d give himself a twenty-two. It was his fault Peter was in prison. It was his fault Elisabeth was without a husband. It was his fault Sara was in London. It was his fault Mozzie had retreated to one of his safehouses, ignoring his every call and all other means of contacting him. On second thought, maybe the latter two weren’t his fault.

There was a knock at the door. Neal went to open and wasn’t even a little bit surprised to see Diana standing there, looking accusingly at him.

“Neal, are you drinking again? It’s not a way out, you know? You’d be of more help if you kept your head clear.” Diana invited herself in and sat on the couch, looking expectantly at Neal.

“Good evening to you too, agent Barrigan. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Neal?” It sounded like a plea. “How much have you had to drink?”

“I’m not drunk. I’m tipsy. There’s a huge difference, agent Barrigan.”

“Stop calling me that! How long has it been going on? Ever since Peter’s arrest? It was a week ago, Neal! You can’t just ignore it and hide, it’s not like you!”

“How do you know what’s like me and what’s not?” Neal almost snarled, “You don’t know me. Guess what, I’m a horrible person and you should keep away from me. It is because of me Ellen is dead. It is because of me Peter’s there, in prison, with a waterproof case against him. He’ll get a life sentence and it’s my fault! I blindly trusted my father and ignored Peter’s hunch that something was off about him! I dragged Peter into this and now he’s the one paying for trusting me! With his life!” By the end of the last sentence, Neal was practically shouting, breathing heavily and looking frantically at Diana.

“Hush, it’s going to be ok. We’ll get him out of there.”

“How can you say that it’s ok? How do you know that it’ll be ok?” Neal knew he was losing control over his emotions. Diana slid her arm and gave Neal’s shoulders a half-hug, a simple but tender gesture that unhinged Neal completely. He felt his eyes prickling and closed them to get a grip of himself. He wasn’t the type of guy to cry in front of somebody else. He wasn’t.

Only the next thing he knew, he was crying, his shoulders shaking with deep sobs, Diana’s arms around him.

“I didn’t want it to happen like that! I didn’t know! I wish Peter could forgive me.” Neal hid his face into Diana’s shoulder and felt that there was nothing he could do to save his dignity at that point. So he might as well get it out of his system. He was a well-read guy after all, he was aware of the theory of letting it all out. However, he had never thought he’d actually be the type to follow that particular piece of advice. The great Neal Caffrey, sobbing on the shoulder of another person.

“Neal, you’re completely silly to think Peter wouldn’t forgive you,” Diana said, “that’s honestly the last thing you have to worry about right now.” Diana was rubbing slow circles on Neal’s back. “Peter worships you, he was worried about you, how you’re holding up.” Neal felt more tears falling just thinking about Peter being worried about him when he had so much over his own head. Diana’s hand moved to his hair, massaging the pain away, her calm voice went on, “With everything that’s going on, with Sara gone and your father showing his true colours, Peter’s worried about you and so am I. You have to pull yourself together and help us out. You can’t keep going like this.”

Neal didn’t know how long he had been there in Diana’s soft embrace. He must have fallen asleep at some point because he woke up when Diana was gently rubbing his upper arm, telling him to wake up and go to bed. Neal heard Diana’s steady heartbeat next to his ear and felt more relaxed than he had been since Peter’s arrest. However, his eyes were puffy and his head hurt, again. But it was a different kind of hurt, so that’s what it feels like when you’ve been crying for the better part of an evening, he thought. He promised himself to never drink again and never cry again. Then he revised his promise to never drink too much again.

He stripped to his boxers and a t-shirt and hovered awkwardly next to his bed, watching Diana take his empty wine glass to the kitchen counter.

“Don’t leave,” the words were out of his mouth before he knew it. And he couldn’t take them back.

Diana looked at him with a quizzical expression at first, but then she sighed in resignation and said, “I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“It’s not very comfortable and your neck and back will get stiff,” it was quite a lame excuse and Neal knew it. He just stood there slightly shocked himself, waiting for Diana’s reaction.

“If I didn’t know better, I’d say the great Neal Caffrey is trying to get me into bed with him,” Diana said with a smirk in her eyes, winking at Neal.

“I’m affronted. Neal Caffrey is a gentleman who never does anything to lure women into his bed. Women come to Neal Caffrey’s bed on their own free will.” Neal smiled. It felt like he hadn’t smiled in years.

*****************************************************************************

Diana stripped out of her jeans and jacket and climbed into bed under the covers. Neal turned to her and smiled. It was great to see him smile. Diana knew it was a cliché but it really brightened up his face, making him impossibly attractive. When looking at Neal, Diana sometimes regretted she wasn’t interested in men. Neal was still staring at her sleepily, but then his eyelids drooped shut and Diana saw how his features softened as he relaxed into sleep. Diana sighed, she couldn’t remember how many times she had sighed in the past week. Trying to convince Neal that all was fine and there was light at the end of the tunnel had been hell, getting Peter out of prison would be next to impossible unless there was a miracle. Diana snuggled into the pillow and realised she was actually relieved she didn’t have to spend the night in her empty apartment with only the pigeons incessantly cooing behind her window.

*****************************************************************************

Diana woke. She was warm and cosy. Somebody had draped an arm over her. Neal. He had snuggled close, cuddling Diana in his sleep, having his thigh thrown over Diana’s legs, his nose buried into her nape. Diana remembered Christie and her spooning, Christie refused to hold her, it had always been her who was the big spoon. It was oddly comforting to be in the receiving end of somebody’s cuddles. Diana smiled to herself and drifted back to sleep.

*****************************************************************************

When she woke up next she felt movement. It was dawning outside, so it must have been close to morning. It took her a second to realise what was happening. Neal was moaning in his sleep, rubbing his front to Diana’s back. Diana froze. She squeezed her eyes tightly shut and prayed Neal to stop. It didn’t happen. She opened her eyes, took a deep breath and shook Neal. It didn’t give the effect she had been waiting for – Neal didn’t wake up but what he did do was scoot even closer and nibble gently at her ear. Diana felt a shiver run down her spine. Neal was still nosing her ear, puffing hot air into it, his hands had found their way under Diana’s t-shirt and were closing in on her breasts. Diana shivered and stopped trying to wake Neal.

She must be out of her mind. Neal was asleep, she should wake him up. If she woke Neal up, he’d stop as he’d never touch Diana when awake. Neal was a friend, she should wake him up, she can’t have him do things they’d both regret later.

Neal’s hand had reached between Diana’s legs and she let them fall apart, cursing under her breath.

She repeated to herself that she must be out of her mind. She liked women, she had been living with Christie for a long time, she had always known she liked women, she had never even considered sleeping with a man.

Neal’s hands were everywhere, unaccustomedly big, warm and sure. Neal’s lips were grazing her neck, making her shiver even more. She knew it was a lost cause when Neal kissed her collarbone. She tried to rationalise everything in her head – she hadn’t had sex with anyone since Christie and she broke up, she had been under a lot of stress lately with her boss being accused of cold-blooded murder of all things. Neal just happened to be there, it didn’t mean a thing, she still didn’t like men, it was just a matter of closeness and being alone for too long. It didn’t mean a thing. She wasn’t having a sexual identity crisis in her 30s. She took Neal’s hand and guided it between her legs. The sensation was novel, Neal’s hand was big, his skin rougher and her arms bulkier than any woman’s she had made love to. Diana moaned softly. It was then that Neal woke up.

Neal’s reaction was instantaneous. His whole body tensed, he jumped as far from Diana as the confined space of his bed allowed and stared wide-eyed at her. “Diana, I’m so sorry, I’m so so sorry. I didn’t know what I was doing, I was asleep. I didn’t realise, Diana.”  
Diana was just sitting there, slightly flushed and realised this was her way out. She’d say that she’d go home now. They’d forget about it, write it down to a sleepy mistake neither of them wanted to make.

“Neal, it’s ok.” How many times had she said that particular phrase today? She reached out her hand and placed it on Neal’s forearm to make the meaning of her next words even more insistent. Neal winched and actually tried to move away, Diana stood her ground. She was going to tell him she understood and that he’d been under a lot of stress lately and she really understood and it was a normal reaction to another sleeping body next to him and that she’d go home now.

“Neal, I didn’t try to stop you.” Where did that come from? What was she doing? Why wasn’t her brain cooperating with her mouth?  
Neal was still staring at her, even more disbelievingly.

“Neal, we’ve been both under a lot of stress lately. Maybe it’s for the best for the both of us, to relax a bit, no strings attached, we’ll go back to our lives in the morning.” Diana slapped herself mentally. What on earth was she doing?

“What are you saying? You don’t sleep with men. I don’t turn you on.” The minute the words had left Neal’s mouth he realised how stupid they sounded. He almost blushed.

“Well, I don’t, but your hands on my body earlier...” Diana broke off and edged closer to Neal. “You need to let off some steam or you’ll explode.” She glanced at Neal’s boxers and remarked, “Besides, I don’t think it’s too comfortable to fall back asleep like that.” Neal actually blushed. Diana smirked, seeing Neal Caffrey blushing in his own bed, what a sight.

“Diana, are you sure?” Neal asked tentatively.

“No, I’m not sure. It’s the worst plan I’ve ever had. But we’ll follow it through nevertheless. You can’t just leave me wondering what a man can do to a woman’s body after a start like that. And you weren’t even awake.”

Neal sat there, literally gawping. “You’ve never? You’ve never ever slept with a man?”

“No, I’ve always known I liked women better. But I feel like experimenting today, better late than never, that’s what they say, don’t they?”

Neal was still sitting there like a statue of a Greek god in the dim light, doing nothing. Diana took off her t-shirt and underpants, never breaking eye contact. That got Neal moving at last. He gently pushed Diana flat on her back and started tracing her body with his hands. It didn’t skip Diana’s notice how he was paying close attention to her reactions. His hands were soon followed by his mouth, leaving wet patches here and there, concentrating on the places which made Diana moan – behind her right ear, at her throat and collarbone, her left ankle, her inner thighs and lower belly. Diana closed her eyes and lost herself to sensation. Neal took his time, making her hot and needy all over. Neal’s slowness was driving her crazy with pleasure, she could have never imagined she’d want somebody’s touch so desperately. Neal went down on her, making her squirm under his tongue until she was begging Neal to speed up or else she’d kick his ass. Neal only smirked at that and continued his slow exploration. After what felt like ages Neal slipped on a condom and Diana heard him ask, “Is it ok? I can finish us off without having, you know, real sex?” Diana looked at him incredulously. She pulled him closer and made it clear that real sex was the only thing she wanted right now. She had time to think that what had started as a way for Neal to get some quick release had turned into a blatant and thorough worship of her body. Then her mind and body seemed to explode and everything went black. When she came back to her senses, she saw Neal smiling down on her.

“Stop grinning. I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I was that bad?”

“You must be kidding, right?” Diana tried to find the answer in Neal’s eyes. He was kidding, his eyes were smiling and almost sparkling.

“May I kiss you?” Neal asked.

“What?”

“I never kissed you earlier. May I kiss you now?”

Diana smiled and kissed him. It was a sweet lazy kiss. “I should have known Neal Caffrey is excellent at anything he does.”

“Including sex,” Neal added without any shame.

“Including sex,” Diana agreed.

“Are you going to sleep with men now, agent Barrigan?”

“Don’t flatter yourself. You weren’t that good.” She saw Neal’s smile going wider. “I’ll just write this off as an exception to the rule. You know, all good rules should have exceptions. Sleeping with women is the rule, you’re an exception. And stop smirking.”

Neal gathered Diana in his arms and whispered to her hair, “I’ll come with you tomorrow and help get Peter out.”  
Diana smiled and sighed. She realised that in contrast to all the sighs she had sighed in the past week, this sigh was different, it was a happy sigh. Everything was going to be all right with Neal’s determination and brilliant mind they were going to get Peter out.


End file.
